Affair with the morning and night

Each day is brand new. That’s how I see it. So even if everything is routine to me, there’s something different despite of that. I’m not thinking the same exact thing as yesterday or what I will be thinking of the next day, right after I wake up. Some days I’m more determined to get something done and some days, I just want to sleep it off and lie victoriously and rebelliously in my bed. Either way, the day facing me is still brand new and I can see it in my word-of-the-day calendar.

Here’s a new scenario. Every night is brand new. I may sleep in the same bed each night, but the thought in my head before I surrender myself to the kingdom of dreams may be different. Some nights I feel reluctant to sleep because I’m still energized, even though I know I need to sleep because I’m going to wake up early the next day. Other nights I just drop on my bed and let myself fall into the rescuing arms of the dream world. And sometimes, I go to sleep just because I fancy a dream. Either way, the night approaching me is still brand new and I can see just a glimpse of it as my eyelids begin to fall.

I have just told you my two favorite parts of the day: when I wake up and when I go to sleep. There’s something about those times that lures me into their rituals and subtleties. One of the seductive factors that pulls me literally and figuratively so swiftly off my feet is its being done in solitude and in darkness or semi-darkness. And the unknown lying within the darkness reflects the unknown scheduled program that’ll show up in our dreams. We don’t know what we will dream about and often times we don’t remember them (although some salient dreams never fade away). So why have them? To entertain us as our bodies perform maintenance – like a movie going on in a traveling coach bus or ferry. They’re there to distract us and keep us company in the dark and lovely lonely hours. Well then, what about nightmares? Maybe your body’s just trying to teach you a lesson wherever and whenever it can squeeze one in. I love waking up because I have the freedom feeling that I can do anything that day. I could skip class and decide to pack up and leave town for a life on the road. Of course I would consider consequences and probably would reject that idea, but still the feeling that I can do that is still uplifting – and it uplifts me into the start of my day. I’m just saying I like the feeling that I could decide whatever I want to decide, with each passing morning.

Often when I have to write something such as a short story or ideas for blogs or thoughts of interpretation for papers, I rely on the interim between wakefulness and sleep and between sleep and wakefulness. It is during those times that I think of the most telling and elusive thoughts. It is also during those times that I get out of bed to jot it down in a note pad before I forget it.

I remember a period of time in my life, I think I was just starting high school. I couldn’t sleep. I kept having trouble with falling asleep. And I knew what the problem was too! It was just that I kept thinking. All these thoughts right when my head hit the pillow. What was I thinking of? I don’t know. I think playlists of day dreams or fantasies. My dad tells me I daydream a lot and that that’s why I’m never focused when he’s telling me directions on how to get somewhere. Anyway, that was just a phase, I guess. Or, who knows, it might pop up again. It didn’t so far though.

Each time I go to bed, or wake up still lying in bed, I just let my mind wander. Kind of reminds me of when dog owners take off the leash from their dogs and let them (the dogs) run around in the park. There’s a place for the imagination to play and I kind of like that.

What’s your favorite part of the day?