Procrastination station

I’m sorry but I have been unfaithful to you. And you can blame school for that. Well, don’t blame it too harshly because I know they’re only trying to help me, this school system that is. But at times I swear it’s killing me.

Just the other night, I had to read one of the longest short stories I’ve ever read. I was on my bed, lying on my stomach, reading the story under the yellow light in my room. I figured I’d have this story under my belt by at most 12 midnight. I ended up falling asleep, my surrendered face on my victorious book, at approximately 11:30. I never seem to finish homeworks anymore in one sitting – or lye down, in this case. I woke up to a silent, slumbering house at about 3:15 in the morning, with my light, computer and radio still on – already they had run themselves silent. I forced myself to finish the darn story already. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t like it – it was interesting, it really was. I was intrigued because it was part mystery, part scary, all literary and unfortunately on my part, part demanding. And long. I finished it by 3:45am. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, set my alarm for 7:00am and gratefully went to bed. I felt defeated and drained but at the same time relieved. Can someone feel all these feelings at once? I also felt a tinge of annoyance because I had to wake up at 7 in the morning to carpool to school. I also felt annoyed that I let this happen. I felt annoyed that I was a bit annoyed. The story was victorious.

As you can see, I’ve been pretty stressed lately. It seems like every time I sit to do homework, no matter how much reading and note-taking I do, I feel like all of it is not amounting to much. It sort of feels like when you drive at a constant 60 mph on a highway, and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Like you’re not moving as fast as you’d like, although you really are. But it doesn’t seem like it. It feels like that, and I don’t really like it. I hope it’s just a phase.

One other reason I haven’t posted a blog for the longest time – almost a month – is because of this little pestering issue called procrastination. Such a tempting and regrettable treat! And here I am writing a blog because I’m procrastinating so as not to do homework! My world is infested with procrastination, organizations of it! So sorry to treat you as a last resort! No, no I’d rather call you (writing this blog) an indulgent retreat. But seriously the reason I didn’t write a blog, besides my busy schedule, is because I’ve been having a writer’s block. I’m not the kind to just write about what’s going on in my life, rather, I like to write about what’s going on in my mind. But during these past couple of weeks, nothing has been arresting my contemplation, my reflection nor my chain of thought. Nothing has been registering, in my mind, as worthy of being “blogged on.” So, if you can’t beat it, join it! I decided to write about this nagging problem.

So there.