I’m sorry but I have been unfaithful to you. And you can blame school for that. Well, don’t blame it too harshly because I know they’re only trying to help me, this school system that is. But at times I swear it’s killing me.
Just the other night, I had to read one of the longest short stories I’ve ever read. I was on my bed, lying on my stomach, reading the story under the yellow light in my room. I figured I’d have this story under my belt by at most 12 midnight. I ended up falling asleep, my surrendered face on my victorious book, at approximately 11:30. I never seem to finish homeworks anymore in one sitting – or lye down, in this case. I woke up to a silent, slumbering house at about 3:15 in the morning, with my light, computer and radio still on – already they had run themselves silent. I forced myself to finish the darn story already. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t like it – it was interesting, it really was. I was intrigued because it was part mystery, part scary, all literary and unfortunately on my part, part demanding. And long. I finished it by 3:45am. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, set my alarm for 7:00am and gratefully went to bed. I felt defeated and drained but at the same time relieved. Can someone feel all these feelings at once? I also felt a tinge of annoyance because I had to wake up at 7 in the morning to carpool to school. I also felt annoyed that I let this happen. I felt annoyed that I was a bit annoyed. The story was victorious.
As you can see, I’ve been pretty stressed lately. It seems like every time I sit to do homework, no matter how much reading and note-taking I do, I feel like all of it is not amounting to much. It sort of feels like when you drive at a constant 60 mph on a highway, and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Like you’re not moving as fast as you’d like, although you really are. But it doesn’t seem like it. It feels like that, and I don’t really like it. I hope it’s just a phase.
One other reason I haven’t posted a blog for the longest time – almost a month – is because of this little pestering issue called procrastination. Such a tempting and regrettable treat! And here I am writing a blog because I’m procrastinating so as not to do homework! My world is infested with procrastination, organizations of it! So sorry to treat you as a last resort! No, no I’d rather call you (writing this blog) an indulgent retreat. But seriously the reason I didn’t write a blog, besides my busy schedule, is because I’ve been having a writer’s block. I’m not the kind to just write about what’s going on in my life, rather, I like to write about what’s going on in my mind. But during these past couple of weeks, nothing has been arresting my contemplation, my reflection nor my chain of thought. Nothing has been registering, in my mind, as worthy of being “blogged on.” So, if you can’t beat it, join it! I decided to write about this nagging problem.
So there.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Mr. Summer, why go so soon?
They said that summer ended a couple of days ago. The weather has been getting colder – a lot colder at night – and it’s beginning to feel like fall weather. I really love summer. Summer is my favorite season. Summer is the season of joyful restlessness. Summer is the season of the sun. And sadly, summer is a season in passing. And oh have I been resisting this change. It’s not only just a change in temperature but a change in mind set and lifestyle, as well. Summer. What do you think of when I say summer? Some think of interesting part time jobs, others think of chances for opportunities. I may be bold as to think of carefreeness and hobby-ful.
What did I do this summer? I could divide the my summer time into music, sports and random. Music. Let me think. Oh yeah. How could forget! It started with learning more Jason Mraz songs on the guitar and the djembe. Then there was the time where I borrowed the Killers cd, “Sam’s Town” for eight weeks and then the Killers cd “Sawdust” for an overlapping four weeks. If that makes sense to you then you’re good at reading comprehension. During that time I got into the drums and the piano. These days I’m feeling the remnants of my nightly highs I felt in the summer. During all this I played tennis with whoever was possible out of my three options – Steph, my Dad or Kuya. Sometimes just my Dad. Sometimes my Dad and Steph. Sometimes Kuya and I. Sometimes my Dad, Kuya and I. Sometimes my Dad, Kuya and Steph and I. And then back to just me and my dad – my common denominator. My tennis partner and friend. Most mornings I ran. Some mornings I rode my bike. All mornings (well almost), I saw the same neighborhood faces. Meanwhile, since I didn’t land a job, I helped run errands with my Mom. Costco made a lot of money out of us, is all I can say.
So to see something like summer leave, is something of a high-impact shift. But I remain an insurgent against General Fall and with it, lieutenant School. The temperature may be low, but the sun is still shining it’s same face on us all.
Did I tell you about the US Open? I went to the men’s semi-finals!!!! It was awesome beyond awesome!! I spent the day with Steph and Eric and Tennis!! I espeically enjoyed Federer’s last two shots before he made it to the finals. How do you practice an in-betweener? Pure awesomeness. I’ve been creating a lot of nouns lately by adding –ness. Anyway, the US Open was a perfect way to close out the summer – a last hurrah before summer ends.
But still, I’m hanging in the clutch. Sure the weather is getting colder – but heck, that don’t scare me! I still wore shorts on a day where the temperature was just about sixty degrees (Fahrenheit). That’s right out of the fifties range. But I didn’t care. I wanted to be the last person to see summer leave. And I believe I was.
Seasons are changing and so is my lifestyle. I find myself more indoors and in books instead of outdoors on tennis courts.
But I still play when I can. I guess this time of year is just a reminder of how time is timeless.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Riding on my writing
Hello. Long time no see right? As evinced by my lack of usage over the past almost whole month, you might have hypothesized that my daily schedule has changed a bit. You intelligibly guessed correct, should you carry that disposition; correct to the point where my daily schedule has changed twice since I so frequently frequented you at the dawn of the wee hours of the night and occasional afternoons.
The first change came at the inception of the U.S. Open, which coincidentally was also the first day of school. That would be August 31. Well then, what did I do from Aug 8 to Aug 31? What can I say? – I’ve been busy. My attention has been directed alternately between my classes and the U.S. Open. Every bright and beautiful cauliflower cloud has the possibility of a thunderstorm – and this year hit the jack pot.
I’m the kind of person who likes to keep a timeline of my life and look back at it and see how my decisions have affected my current state. With that said, and still staying on line with the whole going back to school thing, here is a list of all the courses I’ve taken at Stony Brook so far. Keep in mind that for the first two years of college I was a floater – floating around with no major in mind.
1st semester (fall 2007):
MAT 125 (calculus)
WRI 101 (writing)
HDV 101 (an intro to Stony Brook class that’s mandatory)
ATM 103 (weather and climate)
PHI 108 (logical and critical thinking/argumentation)
2nd semester (spring 2008):
MAT 126 (continuation of calculus)
WRI 102 (continuation the first writing class)
HDV 102 (continuation of the first HDV class)
AST 101 (intro to Astronomy)
PHI 105 (intro to political philosophy)
PSY 103 (intro to psychology)
3rd semester (fall 2008):
LIN 101 (linguistics)
CLS 216 (classical mythology)
HUS 224 (Latin America today)
HIS 103 (U.S. history up to the civil – roughly 1860)
PHI 101 (intro to philosophy)
4th semester (spring 2009):
AST 248 (Search for Life in the Universe)
HIS 263 (age of American Revolution)
MUS 119 (elements/fundamentals of music – music theory)
EGL 204 (argumentative and literary analysis)
SPN 211 (intermediate Spanish)
5th semester (fall 2009 – this semester!):
EGL 224 (20th century literature in English - global literature)
EGL 350 (Major writers in US literature from colonial period to 1900)
EGL 380 (the English language – origin and grammar usage)
EGL 243 (major works by Shakespeare)
SPN 212 (continuation of Spanish 211)
Walking in between buildings to get to different classes, I never can stop thinking that most people are probably majoring in some branch of the sciences – since Stony Brook is known to specialize in the sciences. Going down the line: what are you majoring in? – biology, biochemistry, engineering, health science, molecular chemistry . . . English? The number of students majoring in English is unfortunately decreasing at Stony Brook University, or so I’ve heard. In fact just this year, the head of the English department decided to make all English classes available for English major students only. This is explicit with the familiar faces I see in my classes now-a-days. Yes, English majors of the campus unite! And yet as we unite, I still feel lonely.
I feel like I have the lowest level of English out of everybody. To be honest, I only took high school English – regular English, not even IB or Honors English. The only thing going for me is my writing, which I consider decent enough. As for excelling in my English classes in high school and the writing courses I’ve taken in college – my teachers were nice on me, lenient perhaps. I have no outside reading except for amusing short stories and Harry Potter books. But really what I’m doing is riding on my writing. I may not be as in-depth nor analytical as other English major students and I am now even doubting my only car ride – my writing, but I know that when it comes to crunch time, magic happens. Crunch equals test. This is the first semester where I'm actually taking classes leaning towards my major; the other times, I was taking general classes. Can I keep up with them on this lonely high way? Invisible cars never seemed so testy. Time will tell and my mighty mind faces new grounds.
The first change came at the inception of the U.S. Open, which coincidentally was also the first day of school. That would be August 31. Well then, what did I do from Aug 8 to Aug 31? What can I say? – I’ve been busy. My attention has been directed alternately between my classes and the U.S. Open. Every bright and beautiful cauliflower cloud has the possibility of a thunderstorm – and this year hit the jack pot.
I’m the kind of person who likes to keep a timeline of my life and look back at it and see how my decisions have affected my current state. With that said, and still staying on line with the whole going back to school thing, here is a list of all the courses I’ve taken at Stony Brook so far. Keep in mind that for the first two years of college I was a floater – floating around with no major in mind.
1st semester (fall 2007):
MAT 125 (calculus)
WRI 101 (writing)
HDV 101 (an intro to Stony Brook class that’s mandatory)
ATM 103 (weather and climate)
PHI 108 (logical and critical thinking/argumentation)
2nd semester (spring 2008):
MAT 126 (continuation of calculus)
WRI 102 (continuation the first writing class)
HDV 102 (continuation of the first HDV class)
AST 101 (intro to Astronomy)
PHI 105 (intro to political philosophy)
PSY 103 (intro to psychology)
3rd semester (fall 2008):
LIN 101 (linguistics)
CLS 216 (classical mythology)
HUS 224 (Latin America today)
HIS 103 (U.S. history up to the civil – roughly 1860)
PHI 101 (intro to philosophy)
4th semester (spring 2009):
AST 248 (Search for Life in the Universe)
HIS 263 (age of American Revolution)
MUS 119 (elements/fundamentals of music – music theory)
EGL 204 (argumentative and literary analysis)
SPN 211 (intermediate Spanish)
5th semester (fall 2009 – this semester!):
EGL 224 (20th century literature in English - global literature)
EGL 350 (Major writers in US literature from colonial period to 1900)
EGL 380 (the English language – origin and grammar usage)
EGL 243 (major works by Shakespeare)
SPN 212 (continuation of Spanish 211)
Walking in between buildings to get to different classes, I never can stop thinking that most people are probably majoring in some branch of the sciences – since Stony Brook is known to specialize in the sciences. Going down the line: what are you majoring in? – biology, biochemistry, engineering, health science, molecular chemistry . . . English? The number of students majoring in English is unfortunately decreasing at Stony Brook University, or so I’ve heard. In fact just this year, the head of the English department decided to make all English classes available for English major students only. This is explicit with the familiar faces I see in my classes now-a-days. Yes, English majors of the campus unite! And yet as we unite, I still feel lonely.
I feel like I have the lowest level of English out of everybody. To be honest, I only took high school English – regular English, not even IB or Honors English. The only thing going for me is my writing, which I consider decent enough. As for excelling in my English classes in high school and the writing courses I’ve taken in college – my teachers were nice on me, lenient perhaps. I have no outside reading except for amusing short stories and Harry Potter books. But really what I’m doing is riding on my writing. I may not be as in-depth nor analytical as other English major students and I am now even doubting my only car ride – my writing, but I know that when it comes to crunch time, magic happens. Crunch equals test. This is the first semester where I'm actually taking classes leaning towards my major; the other times, I was taking general classes. Can I keep up with them on this lonely high way? Invisible cars never seemed so testy. Time will tell and my mighty mind faces new grounds.
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