On the concept of stealing

Everyone in his or her life has stolen at least one thing, no? I mean, to think that absolutely no one has ever slipped and committed that sin, whether it be with a stolen TV or a stolen piece of candy, is -- well it’s just absurd. But what’s less absurd is to think that you haven’t thought back on it. Some real blind thieves out there may have no moral conscience at all, and so they can steal like they can breathe in the fresh scent of a daisy on a casual walk through the park. Others are more morality-driven. One white lie and they fess up out of guilt (I assume they'll make up the worst poker players). Those who have a reason or a real justification for stealing? I describe them as morally-intertwined.

I don’t know about you, but if I find even just one ounce of a justification for what I’ve stolen – not that I steal a lot, and not that I steal anything substantial, or God-forbid, illegal – I feel guilty pretty easily. Yet, I guess that means that I spend half my time justifying myself. Just kidding (or am I??). Though I do believe that toilet paper, paper napkins and eating utensils (oh and occasionally tupperware) are always up for grabs on campus, given the increase in tuition we will have to pay next semester, eh hem.

But the other day, it wasn’t something or culinary or something dealing with toiletry that my sticky hands stumbled upon. The object was solidly rectangular, flexible and leafy: It was a chapter book. On the cover was written “Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan”. Kurt Vonnegut. I have never read him before, though I have one of his books on my bookshelf (after going online one night, originally for homework purposes, I followed hyperlink after hyperlink until I found his name and the kinds of books he writes. That was enough to get me to buy one of his books, The Breakfast of Champions Or Goodbye Blue Monday, during a mega close-out sale in the Borders near my house). Kurt Vonnegut. That name caught my eye; not to mention the large signature ‘V’ that graces each of his books published by the “Delta paperbacks” company, that also caught my eye.

The book was lying on the table all alone, as if needing company – my company. It was deprived of the love and attention of the horny eyes of a voracious leisure reader, such as myself. My finger ran across the author’s name while my mouth instinctively uttered, “Kurt Vonnegut. You are in my room, yes. And here you are too. What are you doing here . . . .”

I flipped open to the first page of the first chapter. Intrigued, I was immediately intrigued. His style of writing was simple and yet provocative. Gosh I love that clash. I read the next page and a half. My hands moved the book more comfortably close to me. By page four my eyes read each line with quick intent and curiosity. Page six and the book was in my backpack as I was walking to my next class.

In my head: “I’ll say ten Hail Mary’s tonight. I’ll read it, and then return it to where I found it. That’s all. That’s not stealing; that’s borrowing. One quick fun ride. Lord knows I don’t have the money to buy the book myself, and I doubt that any libraries would have this book on the shelf. If by the time I’m done with it and I still feel guilty, I’ll go to confession. I’ll say, ‘Father, please forgive me for I have sinned: I’ve stolen another student’s book. I’ve read it, oh but, Father, at least I returned it. You gotta give me credit for that,’.”

I arrived to class a few minutes early, so I took out the Kurt Vonnegut book from my backpack and read the back cover:

The Sirens of Titan is an outrageous romp through space, time and morality. The richest, most depraved man on Earth, Malachi Constant, is offered a chance to take a space journey to distant worlds with a beautiful woman at his side. Of course there’s a catch to the invitation . . . and a prophetic vision about the purpose of human life that only Vonnegut has the courage to tell.

How are you not captivated?! Boy was my inner candle lit; this book’s appealing, I’ll admit!

Just from the title, The Sirens of Titan, I’m brought back to the musings I felt when I took a course on Classical Mythology where I learned about the sirens who tempted and almost seduced wily Odysseus. I’m also reminded of my astronomy courses since Titan is a moon of Saturn. Immediately I know this book is going to deal with themes outside of earthy existence, perhaps something higher, something spiritual and all-uniting. And the symbolism jumps out with the main character’s name – Malachi Constant. Constant! Could he represent the ever so constant time as humanity changes, evolves or degenerates alongside it? Or the constant pitfalls of humans as they face the inner turmoils of finding the purpose of human life? Malachi! I looked it up online and discovered that Malachi means ‘messenger of God.’ Is this protagonist representative of a messenger of God, sent to tell his fellow humans the precise reasons why God made them? What He expects them to do, to not do? My goodness, will Malachi Constant be a Christ figure as the book unfurls itself to my mind?

A must-read, if only time were unselfish! Needless to say, this will be the next book I’ll bring everywhere with me whenever I find little holes of free time. Although I usually read books that deal with love/relationships (yes, I must admit) and meanings discovered through every-day events and nuances, this sci-fi--slash--philosophical book has stolen me . . . or rather, I have stolen it lol.





Dear Student from whom I stole this book,

I’m sorry. I’ll return it to where you left it . . . maybe.

Most sincerely,

Me.



p.s. I’m sorry again and I hope you were almost done with it anyway.