Kissing Fish: teaching society about gender

What could the Kissing fish symbolize?

Well, this is what it says here on this website -- http://www.allabout-aquariumfish.com/2009/04/green-pink-kissing-gourami-behavior.html:

Kissing Gourami is an interesting fish that will never fail to thrill even novice fish keepers. In fact, their actions and behavior are so adorable that sometimes people thought they were actually kissing each other as a lover. That’s actually not true because the lip-locking act is a test of strength between two male kissing gouramis especially seen during the breeding season to impress the females. However, there is nothing to worry about because the act would not actually cause harm and injury to the other party.

Now, on a surface level, the two male kissing fish look as if they are gay, kissing each other. This symbolic gesture conjures in our minds the concept of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. There’s nothing wrong to put the lips of two lovers together.

However, these fish aren’t showing affection or sexual love. They are fighting. They are fighting for a female. It’s the tale of two guys beating up each other to win the girl. There’s nothing gay, lesbian or bisexual about that. It’s the typical male chasing after the female story, where he is doing whatever it takes to win her, even fighting in some semi-dangerous lip-locking way. It is the Kissing fish’s only way of showing aggression, when physicality isn’t so big.

So, here we have a duality. What it looks like on the outside (what tricks people – the kissing) and what is actually going on: a fight for a love.

But what’s interesting is that you can’t even tell the difference between the sexes of Kissing fish. There is almost no sexual, outer ways one could make to distinguish between male and female Kissing fish. So, for all we know, the two Kissing fish fighting could be two females over a female fish or two males fighting for a male fish. No outward sexual dimorphism, nada. At least that’s what it looks like to the common eye with a common heart – one that loves what it loves.

Does it really matter if the one you love is a certain sex in relation to yours? What does gender actually mean? Certainly gender is not, in many respects, the exact synonym for sex. Sex, as in male or female, is just that: male or female. It’s what it says on your genes, your chromosomes. Do you have a ‘y’ hanging about your collar or to do you sport an extra ‘x’?

Gender to me is much more fascinating. It is a certainty on various personal levels that only you, the individual, knows. It has a voice, though not necessarily a choice, for gender is a natural and beautiful way of being. It’s got attitude when packaged in uniqueness, but it’s a murderer when limited to societal expectations; the way you perceive yourself may be different from the way society wants to see you and stupidly, those who see you the way they expect to see you, when coming to the realization that you're someone totally different, divergent, are quick to make you loath to be you, to exist as you. But before walking that last road, we find that often times, society, if you're not invulnerable enough, is a huge "lifestyle-influencer." For instance, it brainwashes you through media of all types: the internet, commercials and ads, people interaction. Gender is painfully categorical when paired with such dumb-ass indoctrination. Girls in school put napkins on their pizzas to stay skinny while boys pick on the kid who has man boobs. Lesbians, gays and bisexuals are made fun of and bullied and pushed to suicide. People of all ages, and particularly teens and adolescents, are being led to despair, depression and death because of the harsh treatment from those who won't accept them. It hurts to say that some people don't know that there's nothing wrong with stepping over boundaries that shouldn't even be there. It doesn’t surprise me then, that gays, lesbians and bisexuals are finally taking a stand that I hope will be strong enough to withstand the resistance of the traditional position, with so many years of suppression backing it up. Unleash what’s been hidden and forbidden. Breathe acceptance and tolerance. Take off your eye patch – you’re not a pirate anyway – and see the world with both eyes (why let the other eye live in darkness?).