A lot a lot of names

Two weeks ago, I held open the door leading to the back stage area for the adults in the FAMILII organization. Having finished my finals, I was able to accompany my dad for his performance, which took place at the Wang Center at Stony Brook University. He and his group were going to sing, “God Bless America” as a symbol of not only patriotism to America, but to the Filipino culture, as it mixes in American culture. The ladies of the group were going to do a Filipino dance as well.

You can say that I just tagged along, but I was determined to be of some use! When it came time for the ladies to perform, I offered to hold one of their purses. Relieved, she handed it over to me. It was a bit heavy, but nothing I couldn’t handle – if she can carry it around all day, then of course I can (no offense). But then other ladies caught on with the idea of my holding their purses and glasses and cameras and what not. About ten minutes later, waiting back stage for them to finish their performance, I found myself holding seven purses, two cameras and one pair glasses (which hung around my collar).

“Thank you, Bernadette!” said one of them afterwards.

“Thanks, Bedette!” said another,

“Thank you, Bernie” and another.

Then another Tita said, “Thank you Stephanie.”

Already used to the rhythm of thank you’s as I handed them back their purses and personal belongings while they filed away from the closing curtains, I instinctively started, “You’re welcome.” But something was off. “Wait, I’m Bernadette, not Steph! She’s not even here!”

“Ayaya, sorry Badette"

So that was their first performance. The dance itself seemed perfect to me and I acquired a new name – purse girl.

Speaking of names, I want to take the time to discuss my name – or should I say names? Yes, I have quite a few, although not as many as a friend of mine has. Nicknames, I’m talking about. My full first name, as many of you know, is Bernadette. I’m called that in school by professors and by fairly recent new friends or friends who never caught on with one of my nicknames.

Then there are the twins: Badette and Bedette. They’re almost the same, but not quite. While most may not hear the difference assuredly, I’ve come to hear it very distinctively. The a and e sound very different in my ears. Not only that, they each have accents on different vowels. Badette is usually, Badétte (accent on the second syllable) and Bedette is usually, Bédette (accent on the first syllable).

And then I have the nickname, Bernie, which a fourth grade friend of mine made up. I never thought of that as a girl’s name because of Bernie Williams, but it grew on me, a jolly ten year-old back then. My dad always wanted to spell it Berney, because he said that was the girl version of it. But I remember thinking in fourth grade how I didn’t like how the y messed up the alignment of the name by going under the line if you were to write it on loose leaf paper. And also, ie looked nicer to me than ey did, simply put. I didn’t care if it was the boy or girl version I had. Wait, wait a second. How about a girl’s name Jackie? But then there’s Jackie Chan too. In any case, I’d say that this nickname came on like a fad. First my friend started saying it, then my fourth grade teacher, then a couple of my family members and then some relatives.

As time naturally rolled on, some reverted back to the classic Bern, which has always been around, sort of like in the back alleys. I like to think that it comes naturally out of your mouth and it’s so easy to say because it’s just one syllable. And it’s the name I use for my signature: Bern C. Tinio. Not accustomed to writing in script, I write fairly slowly in cursive. So I try to make the signature short. In fact, it’s not only short; it’s both in print and in script.

Then there are the crazy names that only a privilege few have decided to call me:
Bernstar (instead of Rockstar)
Burn my pwet (rhymes with Bernadette)
Bermise Tiger
Bern Bunny

And I mustn’t forget the “Bern Series”:
Bern Baby Bern
Bern, "The Burn," Tinio
Side Bern
Heart Bern
Bernt toast
Sun Bern
Rug Bern
Bernadooo
Bern a derrnnnn

So when people ask which do I prefer, I tell them to pick one or make one up or sometimes I mysteriously and purposely don’t answer that question and see which name they develop for me after meeting with me a couple more times. I want to see what name I look like in their minds; what name of mine do you wear in your breath when you call for my attention? That's basically what I'd like to know.

And what happens is that I get used to certain people calling me by a certain nickname. When they call me by a name that they don't usually use, I get freaked out a little. Ok, I may be exaggerating just a tad, but I do, initially, get a little disconcerted, but in a good way because I know that they're actually thinking of me as they choose a different name, which is kind of considerate, no? Or, depending on the situation, I get scared. I'm sure many people are familiar with parents calling them by their full name if they're in trouble. One time Ate Sherry called me by my full first name and I thought, immediately, of a teacher who was calling me to participate on the spot when I didn't even raise my hand. It was that kind of feeling.

Also what happens is that, if I'm not sure who said something to me, I'd remember which name they called me and from that I can deduce who was talking to me. Sort of like when you're taking a multiple choice test and you cross out answers you know are wrong and that makes your number of choices smaller.

Needless to say, there are many benefits of having multiple nicknames and it's fun too!